Activity #6 - Tough Guise

Kimmel describes that the value of understanding masculinity as socially constructed and historically shifting can be found in “agency-the capacity to act” (pg 213). Society goes through phases of different cultures, and with these changes the identity of masculinity also changes. It is beneficial because it allows for the defining characteristics to change so that it does not reflect and out-of-date, dejected image. I believe that society has become more accepting of allowing men to show their emotions; therefore, the image of masculinity has somewhat softened. This “softer” image eliminates some of the competitive nature linked to masculinity.

The foundation of masculinity is based upon the competition and scrutiny between men. Many people believe that masculinity is based upon impressing women; however, this is completely the opposite. Kimmel describes that, “Manhood is demonstrated for other men’s approval” (pg 214). The opinion of other men is very important because it is they who evaluate the performance of a man. It is this approval that validates that a man fits within the masculine mold. This idea is linked to the belief that masculinity is a homosocial performance. Kimmel explains that “Homophobia is the fear that other men will unmask us, emasculate us, reveal to us and the world that we do not measure up” (pg 214). This fear is what drives a man to prove his masculinity, so one may claim that homophobia is the driving force of manhood. If one is linked to being a sissy or weak then he is also claimed to be homosexual. This tears a man up, because it is this characterization that disqualifies a man as masculine.

I agree with Kimmel’s discussion pertaining to “the fear of being a sissy.” If you are a woman and call a man a sissy he will probably be very angry; however, if a man calls another man a sissy he will probably become physically violent. I’ve seen many of my friends become extremely embarrassed if they appeared to do a “sissy” thing. They would immediately try and do something categorized as masculine in order to reclaim his manhood. It seems very juvenile, but I believe it is very real.

Katz describes that the “tough guise” is the attempt to show the world only certain parts of oneself that society has defined as manly. To be masculine a man must fit into the narrow box that defines manhood. They have to be strong and tough not wusses or sissies. This keeps boys boxed in and pressures them to conform. Katz also discusses that this tough guise portrayed in the media has constructed violent masculinity as a cultural norm. Men think that manliness can be demonstrated by acting out. In order to change these ideas about masculinity, men need to understand that putting on the “tough guise” is destructive to them. They need to pull the curtain away and share their stories to prove this guise is unnecessary. Girls and women need to validate the elimination of the tough guise by showing that they look for more than bad boys. In particular, women need to show that they actually reject bad boys. We also need to break the monopoly of media systems that are mostly run my rich, white men who dictate the stories of those men around us. The images portrayed in the media are very slanted and need this needs to be addressed. By doing these things, we should be able to change the ideal of this tough guise.

The material, especially that by Kimmel, opened my eyes to a new dimension of masculinity. I always thought that the basis of masculinity was the drive to impress women. I never even thought that it could be the need to impress other men. But, after the readings I believe that it does have much to do with claiming the acceptance of other men. Men should realize the struggle that they are creating for each other and find a way to change this; however, they seem to continue to put up more and more barriers.

The only material that I disliked was Kimmel’s discussion about the feminist definition of masculinity. Kimmel says that “Feminists observe that women, as a group, do not hold power in out society…They feel afraid, vulnerable” (pg 217). It gives the impression that women are weak and fearful of men. This seems to totally disagree with some of the other readings in the semester so far. I know that he is not claiming that this is the position women hold in society; however, I do not think it is a very good definition of feminist’s feelings toward masculinity.